I’ve dealt with insomnia for as long as I can remember. It
comes in cycles and I have to say I’m actually used to it. I usually don’t get
more than 3 hours of sleep a night when a cycle of insomnia hits. I lay down
for the recommended 8 hours but for the 5 that I’m not asleep, my thoughts are
racing in anticipation of the day’s events. I’d also rather sleep during the
day than the night. Something about sleeping at night doesn’t feel right to me
and I’ve never known why.
The only time insomnia is a problem is when I don’t have
any “day’s events” to anticipate. So recently, having not steadily worked in a
few weeks, I’ve been AWAKE. I’ve not slept for more than 30 minutes at a time since
Friday, December 14th. I lay down, read two sentences from a book,
cry, get up, eat, write, cry some more, listen to sounds of nature outside my
window, stare at the wall, fall asleep for approximately 4 minutes, cry again,
eat again then lay in bed like a mummy until sunrise when my child promptly
requests breakfast.
I know that it will be over soon and manageable when I’m
working again or have some other activity awaiting me so I don’t want to bother
my doctor. I’ve never taken anything for insomnia before and I don’t want to
start now. I don’t particularly fancy medications but I understand they’re
sometimes necessary. I’m also prideful in this regard. I think most things can
be accomplished by being strong-willed, although I’ve not been able to prove
this yet.
It’ll be another two weeks before I return to work and I’m
not sure if I can last that long without some sort of slightly psychotic
episode. I shall now make a list of house chores I need to complete but that
list won’t be long because I don’t move around enough to create any new work to
be done, tragic, yes? I’d mentioned that I’m an exceptional bibliophile so you’d think that I would be reading in my sleepless
state but sadly, no. I don’t seem to have focus or energy to sit up and read.
Its like my body sleeps but my mind doesn’t. This is parlous torture,
dramatically put. I’m sure I’ll spend a good portion of the day researching
melatonin, valerian root and other sleep aids. I’d prefer something natural.
Do you
suffer from chronic insomnia? Has anything helped you?
4 comments:
I never had insomnia until my job let me go. And now that I don't have a m-f, 9-5 job anymore I now experience insomnia and also the hubby snores that doesn't help either. That's funny if I try to read since I can't sleep it's hard to focus. Weird. Lol! :)
Yes, melatonin doesn't work for me, but that's because I wouldn't let it. The more I anticipate falling to sleep; the longer I stay up & start to get anxiety. Idk. While you researching that, I'm trying to see what's up with some serotonin to get rid of this "Wellbutrin" for my "Classic ADD" ~_~
It's probably more like a body clock thing. If you saw a sleep specialist you would probably find out.
There's definitely a connection between ADHD and insomnia...I don't have insomnia per se, because once I fall asleep I'll sleep for at *least* 8 hours (often more, thanks to depression. Yay!), but it's next to impossible for me to fall asleep without some sort of aid.
Since you don't often take medication, you might have luck with just about anything. Melatonin and valerian root both worked for me, though I stopped using valerian because it made me feel like my heart was racing (apparently some people have this side effect. I don't know why.).
As someone else mentioned, it's possible to sort of push your way through melatonin. I'll usually get sleepy within 30-45 minutes after taking it, and there's probably an hour's window of kind of fogginess where I can fall asleep...but if I stay up doing stuff, it'll eventually wear off. Also, if I'm super-anxious, it sometimes doesn't work.
The lack of a regular schedule definitely doesn't help. I work from home with no set hours, and I've been falling asleep anywhere between 4 and 8am, and getting up between noon and 3pm for what seems like forever now. Ugh.
(I actually found your blog at 3am, while reading Tumblr posts about insomnia...go figure.)
I hope you find something that works for you.
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